Last year, some very dear friends asked me to officiate their Los Angeles wedding and I was extremely touched. Then I was terrified. Me? Carry out something as important as YOUR WEDDING??? Is that legal? Don’t you need training or a certification or something? Actually, you don’t really need any training but you may need to go online and get ordained. I got ordained. It took about twenty minutes:
Surprisingly, in California, getting ordained was the easiest part of the process, but now what? I did a lot of research. Different states have different laws regarding the matter. Determine what county the wedding is taking place in and give the County Clerk’s office a call to be safe. If you find yourself marrying your friends, you want to make sure it’s LEGAL.
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When I started working on the actual ceremony, it was easiest to start with a basic outline of a wedding ceremony and go from there. It gave us a jumping off point. I presented my findings to the happy couple and got the ball rolling:
Procession
Greeting
Readings
Vow Exchange
Ring Exchange
Pronouncement
The Kiss
Closing Remarks
Recessional
I can tell you that talking through everything beforehand is an absolute MUST. Don’t wait until the day of the ceremony to decide who is going to walk you down the aisle. If you have access to the actual site, go there together and talk through the ceremony. The architecture or geography of the location may affect some of your ideas. So much can happen on the actual day that it’s best to have a detailed plan in place as much as possible. This way you can relax, be in the moment and have FUN.
The biggest pro to having a friend marry you is that they are invested. This can be the biggest drawback as well. When the big day came, and I was standing in front of several hundred people about to marry my friends, it was hard to resist getting emotional. I’m a writer, but I’m also a performer so I have years of experience maintaining my composure in front of a crowd. Even as a performer, I had to stay VERY focused on not getting caught up in the emotions of the bride and groom. Not only was I there to marry my friends, but I was also there to SUPPORT them as they went through this experience. The more I focused on my friends and what they needed, the easier my job was. My voice still wavered when I pronounced them “Husband and Wife,” though. I’m only human.
Check out one of our friends who is best in the business if you need a officiant for a wedding: Allen Kats
Author: Stephanie Hodgdon, Undercover Vocalist
